Photographs (c) Phil Janvier - December 2005I was preaching/speaking last Sunday night and I based my talk on something I heard Luis Palau speak on back 1979 at the very first Spring Harvest, that is "Dream big dreams. Prayer big prayers. Then get on and do it!" I linked it with Paul's vision of heaven, his thorn in the flesh and his bold statement in 2 Corthinthians 12 vs 7-10 particularly that "when I am weak, then I am strong." The crunch was don't let fear stop you dreaming, praying or getting on with life, don't let your or someone elses failure stop you either. Great, fine, went down well, it had to, it was real and it was true... but, and yes there has to be a but, this week my frailty is almost overwhelming. Headaches at work, home and, oh yes, in my head, does that make God any the less great and powerful, no, but it makes each day a heavy step.
Now I am not looking for pity or piety for that matter, because some of it is my own fault, well most of it actually, but I am looking for understanding. For example, I have some friends whose friendship went all wrong, it got quite messy and to be honest I was stuck in the middle. It came to a choice and I chose to speak the truth and it meant that I had to side with the friend who told the truth and to be honest I would do the same again, but, here's that word again, I missed my other friend. So I prayed for reconciliation on and off for the following year or so. WARNING: Prayer is a dangerous thing, because God does hear and he does answer in his time and in his way. Bang I turn up for something, surrounded by my church friends and bang I'm in it as my old friend is there also. No escape, nowhere to run, just heapings of humble pie to eat and, gulp, I ate it, did it and laid one step on a path to reconciliation, this last year has seen a few helpful pebbles thrown onto that path but there is still a long way to go. But, see I've used it again, I understand why it all happened and because God was in it and "when I am weak, then I am strong."
Back to this week and "Understanding", well it goes like this our church mission starts on 29th January and finishes on 12th February. Enough said I now know why.
Finally, where does it leave me today? With a prayer I heard recently, "LORD, here am I, what a mess!"
Happy New Year